The Football Ramble Forum 2011-06-17T16:24:39Z Copyright (c) 2019 ExpressionEngine,2019:03:21 Who is the best footballer in England?,2011:index.php/forum/viewthread/.4059 2011-06-16T23:54:52Z 2011-06-17T16:24:39Z Maxim Me and a friend were thinking about this, whilst considering Ferguson’s comments surrounding Luka Modric: “United are considering their options before deciding when to enter the market for a player openly admired by Ferguson, who claims he is the best footballer in England.”

So. Is Ferguson right? Who is the best footballer in England?

I think Van Persie and Fabregas are pretty unstoppable on their day. I’d have go with someone like Vidic.

Tell me Ramblers…

Kill Your Boss - the ‘I hate my job’ thread.,2011:index.php/forum/viewthread/.4924 2011-10-06T15:37:59Z 2011-10-06T15:40:14Z kieho I am reaching the limit at my current place of work. I need somewhere to vent that is safe because I work in a small company where gossip flies around and if I have to deal with all-round incompetence for any longer I will be sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

Ground rules:

1. Do not talk about Kill Your Boss.
2.  No naming and shaming. The minute people start naming a company, a client, an employee or a customer, you can guarantee that the thread will be shut due to libel issues.
3. Dylstar is banned from complaining about his paper round. It’s the best job you’ll ever have, sunshine.
4. No commuting woes if you drive. If you can afford a car, petrol and insurance, fuck off. Public transport unter alles.
5. No university students complaining about lecturers, essays, deadlines, not getting a free railcard with your bank account, being fucked about by the Student Loan Company being hungover after Carnage or any of your sorry-excuse-for-an-existence woes. Only bring your shit-stack of pasty skin in here if you actually HAVE A JOB. I have been to university, and you will miss it, you absolute weapons.
6. Think of this as group therapy, by sharing problems, you’ll solve problems.

Ok, with that established, here’s hoping this becomes an awesome thread.

Right. I work with tossers. Who knew. What’s new. My office is on the second-floor or a Georgian-era Lancashire cotton-mill, so children have probably died in here at some point. There is a chrome-plating business downstairs but we constantly have their customers coming upstairs asking us if they are still in business because they have no signs and close at 12 noon. This is funny the first time, but three-to-five times a day for two-and-a-half years gets tiresome quickly. On a baseline, day-to-day level I can have a five-minute conversation with all but one of the people I work with, but I can only go on longer than that with four of them without wanting to kill myself.

Our Human Resources department are possibly the most workshy, sackless pair of cretinous prannocks that I have ever had the displeasure of sharing this worthless civilisation with. Late in every day, early out every day. Both are married with kids, overweight, right-wing and completely lacking in intelligence. Projects are constantly hamstringed by their inability to read and communicate instructions. Which makes my job twice as hard as it needs to be. When they are working alone (which is often, because they are forever taking days off - we work on flexitime and one of them is 47 hours down), they are polite and humorous and will work hard, but as soon as they are both in, they gossip, debate each other’s turbulent family lives (in which people are constantly arguing and falling out and again gossiping), are constantly making personal phone calls in the office and generally being witches to everyone else in the office who is actually doing work. To make matters worse, one is a stereotypically white South African emigr√©.

My department is data processing. There are five of us here, my manager, me, and three girls who are all reasonably attractive, with varying personalities. My boss is ok enough, he’s a massive maths and science geek from Poland, and while he teaches me Polish words and finds my humour hilarious, he tends to think that he is ‘above’ us because he has a maths degree. He has a tendency to pretend he’s working but he works hard when he needs to. The first girl is great, I can see why she gets a lot of attention from guys but she’s just not my type. We talk about football and rugby a lot and she works really hard and hates everyone else as much as I do. The second girl is Indian and is pretty hot, but she can’t speak amazing English which often leads her to hesitate and ask tons of unnecessary questions about routine work. It can get annoying but I did miss her when she was away on maternity. My problem with this is that her constant questioning me leads other people to do the same thing, and I’m constantly being asked to help on things when my boss isn’t busy, so my in-tray is always stacked high, and he’ll then claim (to my fury) that we have no work. The last girl is again good-looking with a belting Bulgarian accent, but she is a warhorse. She does slightly different work from us four and speaks to us on average once a day. She is proper hard-faced but she gets loads of Chinese belters in on temp work, so there are upsides.

Our management department consists of a coke-addict boss who spends most of his time running his pub and doing coke and speed in the toilets there. He means well and I always talk about music with him but he often just stops listening altogether to you. It’s got to be the drugs. Our office manager is constantly shifting work on to other people, belittling people and complaining when his unreasonable demands are not met. The worst part is that he was my mate before I worked here, but now I hate him as soon as I get in the building. We also have a massively overpaid consultant who is an enormous tosser and likes to throw his weight around, even though he only does three days a month (for which he gets ¬£600!!!!)

My main problem is that everyone loads work on to our department. HR constantly do things wrong and never get a bollocking from management, and this makes more work for us because they don’t learn from their many mistakes. Management are constantly asking us to work faster and faster for no real reason or benefit. Between my boss doing not much at all and two girls asking me for help all the time, it means that I’m massively busy for most of the time when I have no real reason to be. When people work well, it is a great place to work, even though it’s not an exciting job, but it seems like too many people don’t pay attention, time-waste or are just too damn stupid to do the job properly.

So, is your job duller and/or shitter than mine

The UK Politics thread,2013:index.php/forum/viewthread/.7282 2013-03-26T02:36:11Z The Russian Magician (with all due props to Cescy for this blatant rip off of his original US thread)

I’m interested to know if any Ramblers are paid-up members of a political party, and why they are. From what it seems from Cescy’s thread, Ramble forumites as a demographic seem pretty ‘left’-leaning (as much as those political spectrum quizzes are any good) so do we have any Tories, UKIPers or BNPers in our midst? As the Rambleforce are a switched-on lot (by and large), It’d be quite nice to have some political discussion without it descending into YouTube-comment style bollocks.

Some talking points, play fast and loose…

-If an election were called tomorrow, for whom would you vote?
-Gove’s Education Reforms. Absolute bollocks or absolute bollocks?
-The Leveson deal - happy or fearful?
-How worrying is Cameron’s immigration stance?
-Are we actually all fucked, because politicians are basically all the same?

Cricket is here! Cricket is here!,2013:index.php/forum/viewthread/.7498 2013-05-16T12:05:40Z Greavsie's Gaff The sun is shining.  It’s the first test match of the summer.  TMS is on the air.

Nothing like a summer of cricket to get you through the football close season.

Discuss the most recent Ramble podcast,2017:index.php/forum/viewthread/.9591 2017-02-10T11:04:49Z RKMF I figured it’s best to just have one generic thread for show discussion now, which will live in the stickies. Save us some admin and saves all of us a bit of mess.

Linford Grimes welcomes your comments


Football Manager 2019 (i updated the name),2017:index.php/forum/viewthread/.9683 2017-10-27T20:43:19Z 2018-10-18T20:28:30Z Ian K Currently making my way around the beta.


The OFFICIAL Transfer Rumour Thread,2011:index.php/forum/viewthread/.2051 2011-01-13T17:55:54Z 2012-07-06T11:38:02Z Luke As requested by BigDan83, get all your transfer tittle-tattle here top hat

Ramble Forum Fantasy Football League - NEW LEAGUE FOR SECOND HALF SET UP - SEE OP,2018:index.php/forum/viewthread/.9790 2018-08-03T21:01:32Z 2018-12-26T11:17:46Z Plain. Old. AViD. If it’s wanted was gonna suggest starting a new league with scoring from week 20.

You don’t have to do anything more than you do now

The old league still runs

New league runs alongside using your current team


New leagues done for 2nd half of the season

Classic League - 2049754-1316961 - Ramble Jan2May

Head to Head - 2049754-1316966 - Ramble J2M H2H

Scoring starts GW20 - that’s this weekends fixtures Deadline 2pm (14.00) Saturday

Favourite Simpsons quotes/moments,2011:index.php/forum/viewthread/.4058 2011-06-16T20:00:20Z ChrisGers I love The Simpsons, me. I know after about season 12/13 the writing becomes really lazy and forced but there are still plenty of laughs before this drop off in humour.

Doctor: Mr. Burns, I’m afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have several diseases that have just been discovered - in you.
Mr. Burns: I see.Are you sure you haven’t just made thousands of mistakes?
Doctor: Uh, no, no, I’m afraid not.

The one where Ned Flanders goes insane after his house is destroyed by a hurricane is hilarious. Homer is called upon to get an angry reaction out of Ned for treatment reasons, albeit he’s only reading from a card.

Homer: Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others.

Flanders doesn’t react. Undeterred, Homer goes again.

Homer: Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent!

And again.

Homer: I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now THAT’S psychiatry.

I could go on forever.

The Wrestling Thread,2010:index.php/forum/viewthread/.1121 2010-11-11T15:03:27Z 2015-04-11T11:30:44Z LQuick If you could pick any footballer to a wrestler who would it be?  Would they be heel or face?  What would they wear? What would be thier catchphrase?  What would be the finishing move?

Stevie Gerrard

Name:  Dead Pan Steve Gerrard (As in stone cold steve austin)

Entrance Music: In the air tonight - Phil Collins

He would be face but only to Liverpool fans - heel to us normal people.

Finishing move would be a belly flop but platoon stylee like he does when he dives.

Wouldn’t have a catchphrase as nobody can understand a word he says