Cristiano Ronaldo: Less hairdryer, more spin dryer

15 June 2016

It wouldn’t be a stretch for Cristiano Ronaldo to be the bigger guy, would it? And even if it was, his muscle mass and flexibility on the pitch imply he’d be more than capable of making it.

And yet after last night’s 1-1 draw with Iceland, he wasn’t able to elude the petulance that has ensured at least fifty percent of fans hate his guts, despite his being one of the finest footballers our generation - perhaps any generation - has produced.

I like him. It’s odd to me how someone so acutely aware of his public image, an athlete so obviously in control of every single aspect of his training, diet and lifestyle, should be so classless. While it must be frustrating to play in a team so far below the standard of that you are used to, with players who aren’t capable of providing the service you need to excel, Iceland deserved better than to be dismissed with a contemptuous flick of the tongue.

Yes, they were defensive and, at times, aggressive in the tackle, but Hannes Halldorsson alone deserves huge praise for his efforts in goal, while the forward players made as much of the possibilities they created as could reasonably be expected. And while we’re offering credit where it’s due, the Iceland fans in the stadium were easily the best of the tournament so far, singing and chanting with abandon throughout the game.

Yes, Iceland is a small country. But the last thing they have is a ‘small mentality’, as anyone who’s ever been fortunate enough to visit their home will joyfully tell you, once they’ve got over the horror of how much a pint of beer actually costs.

Which makes the conspiracy theorist in me sit up and look around with interest. Could Crisps’ dismissal of Iceland possibly be a tactic to deflect attention from his own laboured, and at times average, performance? I don’t know, you can read anything into anything these days with all nonsense floating about, but no one’s talking about his misses this morning, are they?

They’re talking about him being a twat. From what I know of the man, he’d take that any day over criticism of his performance.


By Kelly Welles


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